Savvy Shopper

I have a new favorite grocery store! The China Market! Not only do they have a great selection and unsurpassed quality, but they have seriously cheaper prices!



And it totally beats Long's Drugs, where I used to shop.

A Trip To San Diego That I Didn't Take

So my buddy Tom in Montana went to San Diego because he was born under a lucky star. And he just gets to do that kind of stuff. Kind of all the time. He pretty much sucks.


Even the buses in San Diego are cooler than where you live



One day while he was there, he went to a Padres game, because everybody knows the best way to spend a beautiful sunny day in one of the most gorgeous cities in the U.S. is to go to a baseball game to see an unwatchably crappy team that’s 18 games out of first place.


“Hey, wait a second…that’s not the Chargers!”



A huge part of the sparse crowd was made up of military personnel, which makes sense because of San Diego’s naval base. Plus, to a bunch of guys on their way to Iraq, taking in a Padres game is like an orgasmic combination of the Olive Garden’s Never Ending Pasta Bowl, a TNT Weekend at Bernie’s marathon and punching Nancy Grace in the face, all rolled into one.


Part of P.O.W. Torture Endurance Training



He dropped serious coin on the good seats in the Suicide Section, conveniently located for fans despondent over yet another depressingly awful season. Ruth took the opportunity to be positive, stretching it out in case she was called on to pinch-run. You never know when the Padres might get so desperate as to start pulling random fans with floppy hats from the nosebleeds to give it a go.


Those clowns need all the help they can get



Later, there was an eel.




(To see more of Tom's very cool photography, visit his website here.)

One Boring Summer

Things My Daughter Did NOT Do This Summer, According to Her





She didn’t jump off a cruise ship.
While I would have been terribly upset if she had actually jumped off a cruise ship, a small part of me would have been impressed at her ability to procure cruise tickets, secure transportation to a port, board a boat with no parental accompaniment and head out to the open ocean all on her own, since we didn’t even take a cruise this summer.



She didn’t jump in a volcano.
Again with the jumping. We were heretofore unaware of her apparent preoccupation with jumping throughout the summer. Next year we’re going to plan our vacation around her being able to jump in a safe, responsible way, preferably prior to leaving home. To get all that jumping out of her system in case we happen to visit a shark tank, sink hole or wood chipper.



She didn’t get contacts.
Which I feel bad about because she REALLY wants them. But it's probably a good thing for now. Because it’s obvious we've still got some work to do on the whole “both contacts go in both eyes at the same time and don’t rotate on a one-in and one-out sort of thing,” as evidenced by the diagram of her understanding of basic contacts wearification.



She didn’t disintegrate.
Perhaps next year, if we visit The Large Hadron Collider.


What Some Other People Did NOT Do This Summer:

Sandy Olsson




She didn’t make out with Danny Zuko under the dock.


Don Henley




He didn't look back.

Choke Job

Number One thing to do to your chicken via the Internet, by year:

1995: Choke
1996: Choke
1997: Choke
1998: Choke
1999: Choke
2000: Choke
2001: Choke
2002: Choke
2003: Choke
2004: Choke
2005: Choke
2006: Choke
2007: Choke
2008: Pet


Thanks, Singapore. Nice effort. But you’re doing it wrong.