Flippin' Sweet!

Kristi’s Kartwheel Kamp

Hi! Have you ever wanted to do cartwheels but not known how? Like this one time this girl I know was all like man, I want to do a cartwheel, and I was like then just do it, you know? And she was all like I don’t know how, so I was like watch and I’ll show you. So I did and then she did and she was all like wow thanks!

Well now I can show you how to do cartwheels too! You can make people at parties be like cool! Or you could try out for cheerleader and make it no problem. Sometimes you can just do a bunch of cartwheels because you’re all happy and stuff like if you get a B on your English test or the Jonas Brothers do another CD. The reasons to do cartwheels don’t end.

If you’re a beginner, I can show you how to start with your palms up and help you get your feet lined up straight. Lots of people don’t understand how much stuff like that makes all the difference when wanting to cartwheel.

If you’re a medium, I can show you how to round off or even do more than one cartwheels in a row. This is good for style points and to make people go whoa!

If you’re an expert I can make you take it to the next level. More expert. With a no-handed cartwheel or a back flip at the end or something. This is really more like real gymnastics stuff but the basis is still cartwheeling.

So all people from age 2 to 102 can learn to cartwheel at my camp. I’m a professional and I will take my time with you. By the end you’ll be cartwheeling like crazy and making people be all like damn!

Kristi’s Kartwheel Kamp
Available May 31-August 31
Christy Braun Jacobson’s Backyard or her grandmother’s backyard if she has to go over there
$10/hour*
Group Lessons Available (Just no really fat people, please)
Cell: 762-0271
Text: same
AIM: PrisChris17
Yahoo!: EddiesLady8012
iChat: christylynbraunjacobson

*Plus notary fees and personal injury waiver filing

LET’S GO CARTWHEEL!!!!

Act Now!

Obviously a limited time offer.

Ninth Row, Third From The Left, That's Where

(Click the image to enlarge.)

Thank God For HDTV

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

What a sad, sad ratings grab. Used to be, networks tried to mask their pandering at least a little bit. Throw a sexy Cheryl Tiegs guest appearance in a T.J. Hooker episode. Have Three’s Company take a vacation to Hawaii. The kind of stuff that made you want to watch, but not feel too slimy doing it.

But now? Wow. You just jumped right on out there, didn’t you CBS?

I guess I should applaud their boldness. Or at least stand in awe of their enormous brass balls. “Impossibly hot women in heels and very little else, parading around for your arousal…er…entertainment.” What’s not to understand about that show?

Of course, there’s no way of hiding the fact that you’re tuning in, either. Not like how you can claim to read Playboy for the articles or watch Baywatch for the action sequences. Nope, you flip over to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, you gotta straight-up own that one, buddy.

But so what? Is it really that big of a deal? There was a time when I would have rushed out and bought three VCRs, a generator, and called in sick to work to make sure I didn’t miss a show like that. Now, not so much. As much as I never thought I’d ever hear myself say such a thing, women walking around in underwear just doesn’t do much for me. Hell, I can Google “Sesame Street Images” right now and get a half dozen hits of chicks in thongs. (Which is just one more reason why I do so love you, Google!)

Desensitization at it’s best. Or worst. Depending on how you look at it.