One Boring Summer

Things My Daughter Did NOT Do This Summer, According to Her





She didn’t jump off a cruise ship.
While I would have been terribly upset if she had actually jumped off a cruise ship, a small part of me would have been impressed at her ability to procure cruise tickets, secure transportation to a port, board a boat with no parental accompaniment and head out to the open ocean all on her own, since we didn’t even take a cruise this summer.



She didn’t jump in a volcano.
Again with the jumping. We were heretofore unaware of her apparent preoccupation with jumping throughout the summer. Next year we’re going to plan our vacation around her being able to jump in a safe, responsible way, preferably prior to leaving home. To get all that jumping out of her system in case we happen to visit a shark tank, sink hole or wood chipper.



She didn’t get contacts.
Which I feel bad about because she REALLY wants them. But it's probably a good thing for now. Because it’s obvious we've still got some work to do on the whole “both contacts go in both eyes at the same time and don’t rotate on a one-in and one-out sort of thing,” as evidenced by the diagram of her understanding of basic contacts wearification.



She didn’t disintegrate.
Perhaps next year, if we visit The Large Hadron Collider.


What Some Other People Did NOT Do This Summer:

Sandy Olsson




She didn’t make out with Danny Zuko under the dock.


Don Henley




He didn't look back.