Baby Knows Best

Everybody loves babies. They’re like puppies, but smellier. And while most of them appear to be so similar early on (bald, no teeth, bowed legs, self-centered … kinda like old people), obviously every baby is as unique as a “Rocky” sequel. But not just different from a fingerprints or serial killer/not serial killer gene standpoint. It turns out that:

Some babies are addicts:




Some babies are masochists:



Who knew? Here I was clinging to the belief that cognitive thinking and complex satisfaction impulses were things that only more fully developed and higher functioning brains were capable of understanding. Boy, do I feel like an idiot. Thanks for the wake up call Rite Aid. Oh, and thanks for enabling our diaper-clad future leaders.