Walk This Way

Because you've really got no other choice


I used to think that being without my car for a day would be a horrible, hellish experience. But not anymore. Having had to let the wife use mine while hers undergoes some repair work so as to ensure that it not kill us on the way to the gulf coast next week, I now realize that access to instant, unrestricted transportation is overrated.

For instance, today I was able to sit at my desk without the interruption of a real lunch hour. Talk about focusing on the business at hand! The screaming monitor-induced migraine and office chair bedsores are simply gentle reminders of a productive day.

With no reason to leave the building, I wasn’t bothered with today’s summer heat. Or, consequently, any of the fresh air accompanying it. No sir…the cool goodness of canned, re-filtered industrial strength o2 is just fine by me. It’s made in a lab, so you know it’s good.

I also spared myself the risk of exposure to unhealthy UV Rays. Instead, I basked in the glow of the 4,000-watt desk halogen, gently lulled into a state of relaxation by the steady hum of the flickering overhead fluorescents. It’s like I’m at the beach already.

More time in my office meant more quality time with my coworkers. It meant their uninvited pop-ins, the passing of their bucks and the re-telling of their stories felt much less disjointed than usual…condensed into a steadier, more user-friendly stream of cheery, forced face time.

As sort of an unintentional by-product, I realized that, in some little way, I was helping the environment. My wife taking me to work means one less car on the road, one more person carpooling. Sure, that one car is on the road twice as long, having to make round trips instead of one-way jobbies from my house to my office, but it’s the thought that counts.

And perhaps best of all, the safety provided by the concrete and steel of my building offered protection from mudslides, cougar attacks and assaults by Seventh Day Adventists. The way I look at it, another day, another potentially fatal encounter avoided.