A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

And two of them start with "F" and "U"


Ah, take a look at that little angel. What do you see? The easy answer would be something along the lines of, "I see a sassy punk in need of a beat-down." Okay, fair enough.

But is that the whole story? After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And far too many people are far too quick to judge these days. All too eager to draw snap conclusions and make their own opinions heard first, eschewing minor details such as "facts" and "context." All you gotta do is turn on Fox News, MSNBC or any other glorified talk show masquerading as "news" and you'll see no less than a dozen screaming "experts" clambering to prove my point.

It's a simple enough image, the one above, albeit one you don't see every day. Well, unless you're kicking it in the infield at Talladega or glued to the ubiquitous 48-hour "Best of COPS" marathon.

Even though you might look at it and immediately think you have the entire back-story worked out, just how do others see this otherwise banal photo?

The Pessimist
Her parents have failed her. Her parents have failed themselves. Her parents have failed us all. They no doubt engage in this type of behavior at home...likely even teaching it to the youngsters. That is, if they can work it in between lessons on when to drop an "F" bomb and the proper way to tell a teacher to "stick it."

The Defeatist
Why bother? You correct one form of undesirable behavior and it's replaced with another. Cut out the obscene gestures and they're just replaced with offensive t-shirts like "Vote for Pedro."

The Atheist
See? She's proving my point.

The Nihilist
It doesn't matter what she does. There is no right or wrong. There is no true morality. The little girl simply is. The little girl simply does. Just like Geraldo Rivera.

The Existentialist
This individual is expressing herself. That is all that matters. It's neither offensive nor acceptable. Those are merely labels. Her action is an expression of being, and her being is an expression in itself. Now pass the bong and get me some Doritos.

The Realist
Kids are growing up too fast in today's society. They learn too much too quickly. And we, as adults, are more lenient than we should be. But times have changed. You have to pick your battles, and the issues facing our youth are far more serious than whether or not some 5 year-old has finally reached the breaking point with Uncle Ricky's incessant picture-taking.

The Optimist
The little girl is simply misunderstood. All she's doing is showing off the plastic eyeball ring spat forth from the quarter gumball machine this morning. It just so happens to fit her middle finger more snugly than any of the others, making her innocently egotistical flashing of the bling seem wildly inappropriate.

Her Father
You want to date my daughter some day? Take it up with her. Just don't come crying to me.