Dateline: Lake Guntersville. Piercing the Night.

Good news for arsonphobes looking for a vacation destination: the fire alarms at the Lake Guntersville State Park are in perfect working condition. Whether it be at 2:00 a.m., 3:30 a.m. or 4:30 a.m., there is no need to worry about sleeping through a fire in the lodge. In fact, there is no need to worry about sleeping through a fire even if you're five miles away. Guaranteed. However, heart patients are advised to seek accommodations elsewhere.