Got a Light?

Don’t tell me this wasn’t intentional. As much market research that goes into a new product launch, and nobody saw it? Not even a hint of a red flag anywhere in the focus groups or consumer testing? C’mon.

Then what about the basic idea behind the concept itself? Gummi Lighthouses? Of all the directions you can take gummi, where in the hell do lighthouses come from? Bears, worms, hamburgers, sharks … all things that are going to appeal to a kid in a grocery cart. Lighthouses, on the other hand, don’t seem to carry the same weight as an impulse purchase. Not a lot of young, aspiring lighthouse keepers trolling the aisles of my local Piggly Wiggly.

I’m afraid the pervs at Mill Farm are trying to put one over on us. And I, for one, am having none of it. I’m not sure what their sick, twisted endgame is here, but I don’t intend on finding out. No sir. They can take their precious little Gummi Lighthouses and shove them straight up their New and Improved Gummi Hula Hoops, as far as I’m concerned.