It's A Sick World, After All ...

We all know what cold-hearted money grubbing egomaniacs the folks at Disney are. But did anybody peg them as such first class perverts? Good God, who designed this thing? Caligula?

Local law enforcement across my home state of Alabama are smashing electronic poker games and slot machines in adult “arcades” like Revenuers destroying moonshine stills in the Tennessee mountains, and yet these things are allowed to exist unchecked? This contraption would be more at home on the Howard Stern Show, a porn star sitting atop, with Baba Booey pumping quarters into it, than masquerading as a kiddie ride in some neighborhood pharmacy’s waiting room.

And where the hell are the parents here? Does nobody else see it? Look, I know my mind runs in a more deviant rut than most, but come on! You gonna tell me that any normal person wouldn’t look through the viewfinder of their Kodak Instamatic and, upon seeing the above image, immediately file a dozen lawsuits? Hell, I only glanced at the picture via the Internet, and I’M considering suing! Because there are some things in life that you can’t un-see.

The thing that really freaks me out is wondering how many other Disney-themed perv rides are out there? What, in the name of all that is good and right in the world, might Mickey or Minnie be doing to unsuspecting thrill-seekers right now, at this very moment? I shudder to think how the Seven Dwarfs version of a Merry-Go-Round could be defiling other groups of innocents. And Goofy? Man, there’s no telling what Goofy is capable of. That dude was already wack, anyway.