Rock On

In 1922, Belgian mining engineers unearthed this seven-ton lump of rich uranium ore in Shinkolobwe, located in the Belgian Congo. Shinkolobwe is Congolese for “The Place of the Glowing Three-Wienered Donkeys.”

This particular uranium deposit contained enough fissile material to construct two Hiroshima-strength atomic bombs, but the need for such a weapon was still 23 years away. Tojo was a mere college graduate trying to find himself by backpacking across Europe on daddy’s yen, while Hitler had been discharged from the army for championing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Why Don’t You Just Grab a Quick ‘Shower’ Instead” initiative.

The Belgian mining engineers who discovered the uranium kept copious notes in their journals about life in the unforgiving Congo. Some were even turned into best-selling novels such as Merry Christmas! It’s Dysentery!, The Cannibal’s Cookbook, and Don’t Eat the Radium.

The lead engineer, Ferdinand Maaseik (pictured above) was one of 12 children and a 5th generation Belgian miner. Sadly, the Maaseik family’s infamous fertility and revered mining heritage ended with Ferdinand after he posed for this photograph. It turns out the hot rock he discovered in the ground led to the hot rocks he would soon discover in his pants, rendering him unable to father any mini-miners of his own.